Awaiting Flash Back

As 2011 is coming to an end... I am eagerly waiting for 2012 to kick start...rush in with a thud...make a grand beginning... Not just all this but also for all of us to look at the new year with new ideas,thoughts,ambitions & of course dreams...
Even while I am writing this, I am thinking if I should or should I just stop...'cos most of the times when you speak about something, it delays its appearance or occurrence. But,some how I am still continuing to write.... Next yr should bring in some one beloved after almost five years....Not meeting for so long...I am not sure if both of us would be able to find each other in a crowd....It's like we might be sitting close to each other but might not realize one's presence. Gosh!!! I don't know...what it's going to be like...May be I ll jump out of joy...cry out loud...or just stay mum...gaping....
Once this whole drama is over, we might actually talk talk n talk till we realize may be we forgot something like breakfast, brunch or even dinner...or worse come worse having a shower....Not sure if I am building my imagination but that might happen....What we would do....post the lull phase is to hog like pigs...or drink like fish...but surely its gonna be freaking crazy.... And then...the mountains, the snow...the peaks...the freezing cold....My goodness...am I gonna stop...guess not...
The only thought that creeps me from within, imagination n hope....sometimes are two things disappointing & destructive...But...they can also be.... joy & happiness too...Now, which one would actually make its presence felt...Only you know...Mr.Almighty....Why can't you give me a sixth sense for a change till such time that I could see what's in store...just this one time???
Now...I don't wanna build castles in the air...So...I am stopping...But trust me.....this time around...we are gonna break shackles.....

A dream of dreams

Last night when I fell asleep, it wasn't on a very great note. Pre-sleep tiffs can turn some one off totally & that's exactly what happened to me. Some times it gets too tough to speak also to the person right in front of you 'cos you feel they are far far away from your thoughts & vision & you & you kinda still miss that space that you ought to have for one self. Certain talks or words can turn you or leave you in a LULL state, your mind freezes & though you have counter arguments juggling in your mind, yet to put them in words seems so strenuous. Any ways, when finally my eyes shut & I had no realization of what had happened earlier, I seemed to be in a different world... N trust me when I woke up in the morning, I was smiling to myself.
So, here it goes...it starts with me waking up in the morning as usual to get to work... however, to take a shower I leave home & step into a my ex's apartment.... I undress & step into the shower to realize that my ex is right behind me... Oh! it was amazing, the touch, the holding from behind my back... caressing me....only thing we couldn't do was make love....as I had to rush to work...Finally when I was leaving I said, I love you & buzzed off..when I turned around I realized gosh...I am still in love ...why the hell did we break up??? When I reached my point to get into my work shuttle, I didn't have my watch,rushed back & my ex was getting dressed, we kissed again...& I swear didn't wanna leave but did & ran away....
Now, that was Phase One, again I got into another one.... here I am in my shuttle on my way to work...it takes a turn at a place where my long time love used to live & we have literally lived together... Na na...it was not a live in...its just that, it was my second home... Now, while passing through that turn, I don't know how but I could see the same home being occupied & some one was getting dressed.... I couldn't believe...I picked ma phone & made a call...the voice at the other end jumped with my voice.... It was meant to be a surprise visit so that it would excite me but I guess it was my strong senses that lead me towards guessing it right...
Long time love birds, we met again...we spoke as though we hadn't for ages...we gaped at each other...as though we had forgotten each others face...but guess it was kinda true...as we both had changed in our own ways.... trust me ....it can't be put in words...when our bodies touched each other...they still sent a shudder in our veins for sure....God...why can't life rewind...a bit & all those good old days come back....
Now...Phase III... I am back at the point to catch the shuttle to work & wow...I miss it as people are over loaded in it...N I am still waiting to get into another one... and there goes my alarm & I wake up to realize....gosh all this was a DREAM>..... but that definitely made my day....Thanks God...for taking us away from reality for some time...n let the fantasy world...seem real....How I wish these tours happen a little more often or could be real for some time....?? LOL....

Du hast - Hate it, I mean

Of all the things that has been happening, I add another one to my bucket on my own. For no reason, It was just not needed. When ever I think, things are settling a bit, they get screwed up all over again. Not that any body is to blame, its that, my brain tickles me too much & doesn't let me stay in piece... Now I was only making a joke & some one took it so so personal that now forbids me to have any conversation other than needed. Don't know what it means, I mean it was just a joke.... People keep making their own opinions, never respect other people's views & yet term people mean a lot of them...I just don't get it...
You put some one on cloud nine by saying, you mean so much to me, only if you knew me, only if you could u'stand me. And some one gets convinced to try u'standing, you shoo them away & ask them to mind their own business. I mean what the bloody Fuck... Are all around fools to take what you give them & yet smile at you or you think being the biggest DON or terming yourself one, people think that they are great.. I mean if you can scare all around you just by giving them a look, you think you are on top of the world.
What's a life if you can't let others be part of it?? What's it if you control every move & don't let some one just speak a word? For a while, I was hoping that the barriers are breaking & it would be a new beginning & this might be a start to a new friendship but no, this human is God knows made up of what... but trust me...If I could just peep inside that brain, I would really wanna set some parts right...
I am pissed & if this person is pissed, it isn't new, 'cos he is always like that.... GOD, when you created this human, did you forget to add something...