Human sans Err...

At times what we do, how we behave, what we talk, what we convey is just so selfish..U fail to realize that it might have a certain impact on other people. U say it aloud later to know that the opposite person gave it such a different thought.. like if convey to some one what they mean to you & without even a second thought you expect a reply just in a similar fashion. Just not thinking that the silence in itself might have a lot to say...U get pushy n expect a certain behavior... Like u wish to go out on a dinner with certain folks & want people to tag along...if they say No, you don't wanna take it...Why??? Is it that tough??
How does it matter?? Each of us are individuals & wanna lead a life the way we wish to. The same way if you are denied or are put in a spot or held back in doing something, you loose it all... Why? 'Cos taking an answer as a "NO" ain't easy. Right??
But, if we try n speculate, do you feel its more a perception that you can't take a "NO" or is it that you are really strongly in favor of something & you find it wrong for some one else to deny what's right as per you... Now, when each of us meet people, we meet a complete bunch of people who are different in their views & thoughts. Some might like to talk & sip a cup of coffee, some might like to roam around & shop or some might wanna catch up on a drink & get sloshed. Now. how do you gauge whether its right or wrong?? Guess, the root cause always is ones brain & the thoughts running in there. You always wish the others to say "Yes" to things. Respecting them for their views & thoughts & opinions is something very less people practice.
Its more like I wanna eat ice cream, so I suggest a ice cream parlor, but some one else wants to go to KFC, would I agree?? Or would we find a mid path. This might a very stupid instance however, in life, it not always about what you want, its also about what others wish....So..gets very very necessary that we learn to accept what comes by & surely we would reach the river bank soon.... Sounds crazy eh????

Gosh! Not Again

Each time I think it's over but no not yet. I guess I have been hiding this from all around, but have a tendency to get into trouble...invite it with open arms...All was simply perfect, I joined a new work place, the university, working under some one whom I know loves me a lot... in fact has been loving me for years together I guess...
But, there is a kinda gap in what he thinks of me & how he behaves with me... When you love some one, you try to make things special for them however, in this case, its never that.. it's always mean...I try to u'stand this but I never can.. In fact, I am the one who starts the conversation & finally end up being irritated myself. I guess it's my curiosity that drives me to do this.. I really wanna know how can you love some one so much that you don't wanna move ahead even he/she has. I just wanna be with for a couple of hours to know what cooks in his brain...says is a certified flirt but where is the time to flirt when you are always at work..or doing work even when not at work.. I was chatting up with him for the entire day yesterday & I feel I instigated him big time. He still loves me but doesn't want to be friends with him..cares for me but doesn't show it..
I told him I can't love you 'cos things are not the same anymore. However, I want to still be friends with you 'cos life is too short to speculate, but he says I can't, would rather maintain a safe distance...
Now, what I fail to u'stand about myself is why am I being pushy?? Why the hell do I not want to shut up & forget it... Why should he even matter to me...I fail to u'stand this... I guess...I am being selfish... Just want it all...I know it's kinda unfair on all 'cos I can't expect all to be like me...
I could move on after loosing my first love... but I know some where deep down I still love him... But the chapter is over...I can't stop talking to him 'cos that would kill me more..
So, this whole fact of this chap not letting me even know him or spend time with him is eating me from inside 'cos I really don't know whether he is in love with me or has a perception about the same...I want to get this sorted...I want this to stay... I know he is a gem of a guy n I just don't wanna loose him... life is too short for us to miss on opportunities...
Even now, I really am not sure if I could ever work something out but I guess I deserve a chance to make up...