Who owns it? Life

This life each day in day out...freak in same thing each day...Would you not wanna hit it,break free. You would definitely want to shut all the noises around and just be yourself. But hell,before you even attempt a small tiny little dream, reality creeps in, tells you, stops you, becomes a hurdle…
Tell me how do you manage a situation where your battle is with your own set of people, those who have been with you all through out but when you decide to go on your own, they just seem to give you entire common sense talk which otherwise would never have been topic of discussion. What would you name them? People who have concern towards you or hypocrites who wanna just not accept the fact that each one has his/her own ways of leading ones life.l
When you wanna go out ? When you should stay home? When you should have a drink? When should you eat ? When would you sleep? I mean who decides.. Me or does some one else operate my life using a damn remote control, to add flavour a satellite to make the updates. I mean whose life is it any way... Relationships are getting complicated with every single touch. It's like a return gift, the more you accept them, the more you are expected to give back, at least that's what is defined courteous, isn't it?
Which infers, that the more some one knows you, they imagine to own you.… Is it right? Is it not? Who decides? Who says Fuck off or says no thats alright... You right? Imagine a world where before you even think of eating some one has ordered food for you, to add on something that you just don't wanna even look at, forget digging in.… this at times makes you feel terrible firstly 'cos you don't like it, yet you don't wish to waste it... Tricky isn't it? Your life rather the one that you claim yours is loosing its essense.… n you stand gaping helpless... I know food is a very tiny example but little drops of water make an ocean,pun intented... Here some ones concern gets choking n leaves you bound n tied for no reason what so ever...
So, folks who owns ma life? Me....you must be kidding..lol.…

Bottled.....Uncontrollable

Listening to the song from the Hindi flick Rockstar..."Aur hua", makes one dive into a deep deep ocean which kinda rushes in so many tightly bound desires & thoughts... It kinda tears you apart, forcing you to break free.... I mean...would you ever be able to forget that first touch, the knot in your stomach, the trembling in your voice n hands with the very thought of some one looking at you & talking to you with only their eyes.
Yeah, I know you might say its too movie type, but trust me can happen. Its just about whether you realize it & how... I have heard people saying that Love grows with passage of time, but what about a small stint in ones life, which is like a strong wind sweeping you off your foot, making the entire experience a complete rendezvous in itself... Something which is worth the risk, which is worth the hiding from the world, something which is simply the best eternal indescribable feeling... Where your heart takes over control on your mind... n lets you relish the ultimate bliss....such which would leave one craving for more...
Which would always remain a something that would bring smile from your heart...not just your lips...It might not be Love,neither an attraction but just a sort of ummmmm...just not getting a word to describe it...where you can't control or hold yourself back even though the consequences don't favor you right from the start. The triumph of doing something that isn't controlled or chartered by this world, which isn't a thing to stay forever. Which is a place, that rests ones mind & soul to shut them down away from the glaring eyes of the world....
I don't know if I am making any sense, but would we all not want to get away, not forever but just for sometime into a world of our own, where we are the masters,where we aren't bound, where we make no rules, break all the damn dictum....just stay there in the present, not carrying the baggage of the past, not thinking the future ahead...
Just a time where you would wanna be just thyself...just stay right there where you are without moving an inch, making an effort for the time to stop ticking for sometime, wanting 24 hours to be as long as it could... Now, that can't happen all the time...thus, to be in such a state where you would die for all this to happen is a sure "MAGIC" in itself...
A magic as we know can't be forever, however, if you don't enjoy it when it is there live, you can't ask for a recurrence...thus, to be in the moment,to just go right into it..not thinking anything but just that...is what would be a choice to make. I mean what you got to loose any ways...nothing is here to stay forever & always...to let yourself be, spoil at times is worth an option to consider...Thus, letting the magic sink in...make its effect....spreading its joy & the sort of contentment that you feel is beyond words...That "smile" would always remind you of the times where you did what life offered you & made your own cherish-able moments.

Smile:)))

Today, on a Saturday morning,the only thing that I feel is a sort of happiness. Though there is nothing in particular that I am happy about or is bringing a smile on ma face this bright sunny morning...Guess...a sort of realization you can say or may be a feeling of contentment...Its a kinda joy which is too too tough to express in words...The heart is literally doing salsa inside n you can feel that raising up to your chin to your lips n turning into a SMILE:))
A lot of credit to this goes to people around me...people who mean a lot to me...in fact all...including acquaintances, small time friends, long time friends, all time friends. All of these people have played their role quite well & been there, done that as & when the time asked to.Specially who gave some of those wonderful cherish-able moments...A compliment, some nice naughty little nothings, a virtual hug with a real one to compensate, a reliable shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold on to save that fall, calling cute little names to make you like a kid again... I mean not all of us get a chance to savor them all.
I mean people who love you just the way you are, what you are, how you are & what you are to them, definitely is something that one would feel nice about. In fact, I would never deny the fact that to an extent, I am proud the way I am... live by ma own rules and still balance it around....it ain't easy freaking hell... but yet...to be able to do so is a task in itself...
To think back to the fact that, there is some one waiting for you to still come back into their lives, some one loving you, caring for you, some one just there to see you smile, waiting for you to come home to them...gives you enough reason to live with pride...
This doesn't mean everything is a bed of rose petals...as a rose is beautiful due to the thorn it possesses. To all those people out there...Thanks a tonne...Muah...ahhhh

A Thought

Just while I was walking my way up to board the bus to work, this thought just flashed by & I immediately drafted a text to my best pal & wrote, how about checking into a hotel staying in the same city & go hiding just for a day...Your day of being yourself...just be crazy....sleep...lie down watch movies...drink...eat...gossip....listen & dance to one of best tunes of a lifetime...
Yeah...most of you might say Weird, but damn you some where deep down you might agree that we all need a little slow down...to get away from the normal routine syndrome & get into the not so happening one... Some how the thought of it in itself let an adrenaline rush & I am actually looking at acting crazy....Now, why...need not be a reason really justified but eh...we all do so many things which need not or might not have an on the dot reason to convince any...
So many people around you...so many things happening at the same time...so many of them talking non-stop, doing the same thing day in & out...I mean...some times I feel the clock should stop ticking for a good couple of hours.....so that we all go in that statue mode...not literally I meant just a phase where you get to live the present a lot more better & nicer & relish it before you cherish it.....Don't you agree???
The way our lives are moving from 2011 to 12 & later 13 & 14....I wonder before you & me would blink our eyes...the world would have changed...Agreed change is constant but needs to be gradual too right...which I guess is an old phrase to be shelved some time soon... Starting from being a toddler to hitting school to learning languages...kids do it all & at the same time...The same kids when grow big know more sex & less love...or may be think sex is love....would be ever be able to change their thought process?? Their thinking on certain aspects of life...guess no...wouldn't say never... as I believe in possibilities...
So, just for the sake of keeping your own self alive & kicking & rock solid....you need to gather yourself up...respect thy as an individual before expecting the entire world to do so...Think about it...before its too late...N then becomes never...I mean...once you die...not sure if there is any life...so ought to be bang on....

Here comes 2012

2011, gone by & with it goes so many things....memories..fuck ups....dates...kisses...make outs...fights...tangles...confusion..crushes....lip locks....long nights...lengthy conversations...gosh...I actually don't recall it all to list them down..
Last year new years was simply crazy...pitch drunk...dance....n a sleepless night....result HANGOVER.....Post that two trips to Hyderabad crazy food, shopping & loads of fun..Later Big B going off to US of A which kinda brought in quite many mixed feeling one of happiness & one of course a weird sadness per say. Before this, Chotu going away just so abruptly...
Gosh..it was way too much....Post Big B going away...it kinda was a lull phase, less going out,less drinking n even less talking. How much one person can a make a difference to ones life? In this entire juncture, met a couple of people...who liked me the way I was...these were new folks who didn't know me... So, that gave phone conversations another start...texts increased n some where I realized I am being a flirt....a big one...But common who doesn't like attention...We were planning a trip to Srianka & this took most of the time n finally it happened in September. It was awesome, just eat,drink, roam around & talk talk & talk & of course sleep when not doing all this...It was an all gals trip...was awesome...
However, during the entire, had got to know my love a little better...We drank together...made love a little lesser...kissed a lot more...but when we made love it was Sooper...Now...each of us reach this stage where u wanna do it n your partner doesn't wanna. How do you handle that??
Ooty trip came as a surprise...we kissed had fun...made out. Couldn't get to the next step somehow but was nice...This continued with a little more kissing sessions which were simply amazing...Can't say why but they were.... In the mean while a past love made an appearance,made confessions. We had our hook ups but made up & finally now we are no where....just blank...
Young blood always excites the old....n some how a date with some one younger makes one feel the same...it was nice not sure for what reason but it was...those words...its timing were simply right to make its presence felt...in between meeting with no particular intentions were also making their mark...
During this entire ups n downs....certain people always stay the same...they are like your all time listeners...they never get bugged even if you say the same thing hundred times...they would always have something nicer to speak with you & make you smile at the end...Love you folks...
A couple of nights with a little tipsy state...feeling all mushy mushy n nice...awwwwwwwwwwww...can't be described...In this entire hustle bustle...two of my best buddies...tying the knot....was a little bit of a celebration & some shock too....Some hooks ups being settled & some wacky conversations continued...All in all....gone by with 2011...
Sup...What you got for me 2012????