What More?

Ever wondered, how much of it that you do is valued by people...How much it you don't do is noticed & justifications demanded. Staying up for some one to come home after two days of trip, killing time by watching all the crap on the idiot box, sipping enough liquids to keep up the energy levels, gaping at the watch to see the time, looking at the phone for any news,at last when the actual arrival happens, all seems in vain. Why? An analysis would actually make one feel worse 'cos the possible analogy might be that all this was not expected nor asked for. Thus, all the efforts went in vain with nothing, not even a smile to rest.

An evening of laziness, a weekend of rest, a company well desired, but at times all this seems like only one-sided. One sided 'cos the other person sitting right beside might be far away when it comes to his thoughts & desires. A conversation that begins on a lighter note goes on to a high tone & later to a not so like able mode puts everything in a clumsy scenario.

You tend to realize in the entire course of the listening activity that may be the fingers pointed are all towards you & then you are back to where it all began. You giving some one a light polite advise ended up in you taking it all back with penalty which results in the form of unfavorable language & unacceptable blemishes. I mean, where & how can you ever say it, that I only meant to be showing care not showing a finger. I only meant your goodwill but you took it to be advise. I only wanted your life to be far more wonderful but you felt I didn't care.

An individual to an individual, having a conversation face to face still finding difficult to communicate or put things across as desired. Why, how, what might be the reason, all these questions don't seem to have answers at all. Seems like may be you yourself are the sole person responsible for you to be in a Box which is bound so tightly from outside that you can't even break open.

Not just 'cos you love some one can you just take all that they say as lovable comments or concern. At times,such words painted with sugar balls, hit you harder than any bloody bullet. Some where, you fail to comprehend the puzzles, they forever seem unsolved & complicated.

Can't always say, it's life's way of showing its realities, but being humans I guess we contribute by & large & make it worse by adding on unwanted flavors to it.

Forever & always you wouldn't get some one who could see through you, nor some one who would let you be one who could explain. People are available in this world with so much variety & images that to find the right one or even closer might take a complete life in itself. And, if there is life after death like we have heard, may be another life... All in all.... Your identity would not really matter unless you know that it matters to you the most rather than anybody...true right!!